[This is a work of parody, fantasy, satire, whatever you want to call it. It is definitely fiction. -Mouse] T A L I P O S U M POLICY ON SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR IN THE WORKPLACE Taliposum believes that a sexually satisfied employee is a happy and productive employee. Thus, the following policy is established. 1. This policy applies only where not overridden by concerns such as safety, law, or employee duties. 2. In all employee-only areas not visible to the public, and except as posted, nudity (partial or full) is acceptable. 3. Sexual behaviour of any degree between mutually consenting employees is, in general, acceptable in any company place where nudity is acceptable (see item 2). When a direct hierarchy relationship or other power imbalance exists between the persons, particular care needs to be taken to ensure that consent is unforced; in case of doubt, all involved persons are to discuss the case with management. 4. Except where part of employee duties, sexual activity is not payable time. However, up to ten percent of paid time, per pay period, may be used for unrelated pursuits, such as sex. (Ten percent of an 8-hour day is slightly over three-quarters of an hour.) 5. Recognizing that most employee work areas are cramped and uncomfortable for sex, Taliposum has spaces designed for sex available. Taliposum also employs satisfaction workers to assist employees with sex, either directly or with information. Consult your employee handbook for the locations of sex spaces and the contact info for satisfaction workers in your area. 6. Taliposum recommends at least one orgasm a week, more for most people. Consult management, your satisfaction workers, or your doctor for more information.